Lucy

Lucy is forced in to becoming a drug mule that sees her turning in to something way nastier. The drug pouch that is shoved in to her intestines leaks in to her blood stream and makes her neurons fire between pathways undiscovered in the human brain. In the background you have a professor lecturing about the untapped power of the human brain while Lucy starts to kick ass. Unfortunately, neither Mr. Freeman's voice or Ms. Johansson's pyrotechnics saves this film from the shit pile. 

Rating: * +

Poster licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia.

Léon: The Professional

Léon (Jean Reno) is a profession hit man for the mafia with a simple life. He drinks milk, tends to a plant and kills people. All that changes when when his teenage neighbor Mathilda’s (Natalie Portman) family is killed by a group gun totting assassins led by snarly Gary Oldman. Mathilda becomes his responsibility and against his better judgment he starts to train her so that she can take revenge.

It is hard to feel fear with Oldman’s villainous incarnation after seeing the likes of Javier Bardem and  Heath Ledger. However, Natalie Portman has arguably played her best role to date. Unfortunately the role was her first. A cult classic that has not aged well in some parts but timeless in others.

Rating: * * +

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec

Based on a graphic novel from the 60s, the film follows the adventures of an “investigative” journalist, Adele Blanc-Sec (Louise Bourgoin), during the early 20th century. While she is away excavating tombs of mummies in Egypt with the hope resuscitating them to help cure her sister, Paris is under attack from a pterodactyl. Soon it is up to beautiful journalist to bring order back without any help from the bumbling police. If a slightly classier version of Tombraider with French humor appeals to you, then this film will be hugely satisfying.

Rating: * *